Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
