what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
