I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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