Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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