the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
