I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
