I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
