we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
