It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
