You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
