I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
