:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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