So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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