i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
