So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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