This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
