I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
