dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
