Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry about my life...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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