Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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