Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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