She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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