did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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