i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
