I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
