operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
