We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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