i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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