I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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