ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
