This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize