Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
