I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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