was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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