Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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