He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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