I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
