so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
