My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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