He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
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My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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