I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
