and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
