My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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