so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
