How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
