Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
