alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
