i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
