I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
