TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
