I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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