you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
