escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
