whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
