Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
