I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
