i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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