whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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